A Bleached Wedding
by Luppi-tan
Summary: Just a crack fic I wrote over a year ago. If you're looking for something serious don't read this. Ichigo and Rukia get married. But even such a sacred event can never be sacred in the Bleach Univese. IchixRuki, hints of GinxLuppixRangiku. M to be safe.


It was Ichigo and Rukia's wedding day, a beautiful spring day under the sakura trees, and more perfect weather could not have been asked for. All of Ichigo's and Rukia's friends were there to celebrate the day with them, of course, it was odd seeing Tatsuki, Orihime, Chad, Uryu, and all of the others so much taller and older, now. Ichigo hadn't really had much contact with them since he became a permanent member of the Vizard after his sixteenth birthday. He was now officially twenty-six, but he still looked as though he was sixteen. In order to be able to be with Ichigo, Rukia had gone against everything that the Shinigami stood for and had asked Urahara to help her become a Shinigami/Hollow hybrid. Though Kisuke at first pretended to know nothing about it, Rukia eventually convinced him to teach her, and she too became a hollow. At first, the Vizard were skeptical about her, but Ichigo convinced them to let her join.

Since then, both had truly mastered their inner hollows and had learned to use their newfound powers to their greatest extent. That brought them up to their wedding day, which was not only being attended by Ichigo's friends, but by the Vizard, and by several captains, lieutenants and other high ranking officers from the Gotei Thirteen. In fact, most of the captains had come. Zaraki was there, along with Soi Fon, Ukitake, Kyoraku, Hitsugaya, Byakuya Kuchiki, though he said that he was only there to make sure that there wasn't a fiasco with hollows due to the unusually high concentration of reiatsu in the human world.

Meanwhile, Ichigo was off in the woods, practically throwing up with nervousness. He had never been the type to be scared of anything, but this scared him. Marriage was such a huge commitment, and like anyone, Ichigo was scared of how their relationship would change after he and Rukia got married, and how his relationship with the rest of the Vizard would change.

"Hey, it's Berry-tan!" came a cheery and immature voice. He turned around and saw Mashiro standing in front of him. She was actually wearing a dress instead of the usual superhero-like costume that she usually wore. Ichigo had to admit, she looked good in a dress.

"What are you doing way out here? The wedding is gonna begin in forty minutes!"

"Ummm… I-I… uhhh… could ask you the exact same question, Kuna-san!" he said, smiling stupidly and hoping that would work. Oddly enough, it almost did.

"Hey!" she said indignantly. "I asked you first, and don't call me Kuna-san! It's too formal!"

Ichigo groaned. She may have been immature, but she wasn't stupid, and she didn't make it to the position of lieutenant in Soul Society before she was banished by being an idiot.

"I-it's none of your business!" Ichigo said, waving his hand for Mashiro to leave. She harrumphed and said "Fine!!" in an angry voice and then shouted, "HEY GUYS!!! HE'S OVER HERE!!!!"

Ichigo cursed. Mashiro and her big mouth! He couldn't believe she was trying to get revenge on him. She was so childish sometimes. Suddenly, the rest of the Vizard save Rukia used Shunpô to go over to Ichigo and they looked at him. Shinji looked at Lisa and Hiyori as if to ask why they were even there. He knew that they weren't going to be of any help. Hiyori was more likely to whack Ichigo with a sandal than she was to help, and Lisa was too unenthusiastic to be of any help. To boot, Mashiro was the most immature person Shinji had ever met.

Lisa took the hint and crossed her arms, leaving. Mashiro looked around and used Shunpô to leave to find Lisa, but Hiyori stood there and glared at him.

"What!? You expect me to leave!? What is this, a guy thing!?"

"Well, sort of, but it's more that you're too violent. Now go and play on your Stupid Hiyori Exercise Machine," Shinji said dismissively.

"It's SUPER!!!" Hiyori shouted, cursing and leaving.

"Now, Ichigo, you can't run away from this," Shinji said, putting a hand on Ichigo's shoulder. Ichigo looked at him venomously as if to say "I'm not running away, jackass!"

"I'm not running away, jackass!!" he said coldly.

"Do you have any idea what I'd give to be in your position!?"

"No, but I could probably guess that it's something perverted," Ichigo retorted sarcastically. Shinji looked hard at Ichigo and grabbed him, flash stepping away and back to the wedding.

"DAMNIT, WHAT ARE YOU… R-Rukia!?"

"There you are, Ichigo!" she shouted, half angry, half worried. "I've been looking all over for you! A catastrophe has occurred that no one could have predicted!"

"Did Omaeda eat the entire cake before the wedding even started?" Ichigo asked sarcastically, his eyes half lidded as he said it. Rukia felt a vein throbbing in her temple at Ichigo's blasé attitude.

"NO! Aizen and his people are HERE!! NOW!!"

"W-what!? What the F!*!? Whoa! Why is my life being censored now?"

"That doesn't matter. Hurry up!!"

Ichigo used Shunpô to move over to where Aizen, Gin, Tosen, and several prominent Arrancar were sitting in the chairs outside under the cherry trees and smiling as though there was nothing wrong. Aizen looked innocently at Ichigo and smiled at him.

"Well, hello, Ryoka Boy. I'm amazed. You don't look a day over 175," he teased. Ichigo cursed and said, "I'm twenty-six! But why are you here!?"

"Well…"

"I can answer that!" came a falsely cheery voice from behind Aizen. Aizen looked over and saw Gin approaching.

"Well, I had heard that Rukia-chan was getting married today. Little Rukia-chan!" he said airily, looking away for a moment as if reminiscing. "I remember her when she was _this_ tall!" he said in a cold smile, bringing his hand down to his waist to show how tall Rukia was at the time when he first became a captain.

"And of course, Grimmy and Neliel-han didn't want to miss their best friend Ichigo finally getting married. There are a few other Arrancar here, too, though none of them are that significant," Gin said, his voice trailing off. Suddenly, he heard from Noitora, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT SIGNIFICANT!?!?"

"Why is Tosen here, then!? I don't even know him!" Ichigo complained.

"I assure you, Kurosaki, we won't fight if you make sure to mind your manners…" Aizen said smoothly, looking away. Rukia then came up to Ichigo and said, "It's time."

Ichigo waited by the priest as Kuchiki Byakuya, dressed in an amazing, though strange, looking suit and tie, escorted Rukia down the aisle to him to "offer her up to Ichigo". It sounded strange to both Rukia and Byakuya, but that was how the humans explained it to him, and who was he to go against tradition?

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to recognize the bond between two individuals. Are there any among you who have any reason that these two should not be wed? If so, speak now, or forever hold your peace."

Gin got a huge grin on his face and he snickered as he went to raise his hand. Aizen held his hand down, though.

"This part is just for show. It would be considered uncouth to actually object. You too, Grimmjow… Neliel!"

Grimmjow cursed. He knew that after Ichigo got married, he wouldn't be available as often to fight, and that pissed him off. Nell didn't want him to marry Rukia. She wanted him to marry her. It was unfair!

"Do you, Kurosaki Ichigo, take Kuchiki Rukia to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, in good times and bad, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, 'till death do you part?"

"I do." Ichigo said, looking at Rukia lovingly. He had changed a lot in the time that he had known her, and it was all for the better.

"And do you, Kuchiki Rukia, take Kurosaki Ichigo to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold, in good times and bad, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, 'till death do you part?"

"I do," she said.

"Then, by the power invested in me by the great Kami above, I now inform you that your contract is magically binding in the strongest possible way due to this artifact… hehehe…"

"WHAT!?" they both shouted, outraged that the priest had used such trickery on them.

"Haha! Just kidding!" he said jovially. "This is just a miniature brass scales that was given to me for my birthday. By the power invested in me by the great Kami above, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Ichigo and Rukia slowly moved together, kissing tenderly as the sakura blossoms fell all around them in the gentle breeze that was blowing around them. Ichigo then swept Rukia's feet out from under her with his foot and caught her, carrying her away bridal style. As he passed Mashiro, he sighed, noticing that she was giving Orihime a nasty look and sticking her tongue out at her. Mashiro never liked Orihime because she believed that Orihime didn't understand why Hachigen and she became friends so quickly.

"Is this how all human weddings go?" Rukia asked, blushing slightly.

"Well, from what I heard, my father actually carried my mother on his shoulders and ran out, but that's just him."

Later at the party, the Arrancar and the Shinigami were all way too drunk to care that they were sworn enemies, and they all had a good time. Even Toshiro drank a little, and boy did he get hammered! He was stumbling all over the place, laughing like an idiot. Not that Rangiku minded, who was even drunker than Toshiro. Momo was constantly following them around to make sure that Toshiro didn't hurt himself.

"What is that you're drinking, Gin-san?" Luppi asked, hiccupping softly. Luppi had been back in Hueco Mundo ever since they found out how to make the Hôgyoku recreate Arrancar that were destroyed, though it could only do this once per year, so they used it sparingly. Gin had actually made the request, and Aizen was glad to grant it.

"Well, Luppi-kun, it's something that humans call gin, though I don't know why."

"Well, it does have a bit of a silvery sheen to it…"

"No, no, no! Gin, it's called gin, with a soft "g", not a hard "g". For such a good drinker you really don't know much…" Rangiku said shakily, forgetting her past differences with Gin and being as friendly as could be.

"Whozyer friend, Gin-kun!? AHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!" Rangiku sputtered, laughing stupidly.

"Oh, this is Luppi-chan, my boyfriend…" he said lightly, smiling at Luppi and grasping his hand, interlacing their fingers.

"Aha!!!" she said, as drunk as she had ever been. "I knew you were secretly _gay_, ahahahaha!!" Rangiku continued, wavering.

"I prefer to be called an equal opportunity dater…" Gin said smoothly, ignoring Luppi's look of horror at Gin's lie. He tugged on Gin's sleeve.

"But Gin!" he said furiously. "We aren't dating! What are you doing!!??" Luppi hissed at him. Gin grinned and kissed Luppi on the lips gently.

"Don't worry, you'll see, dear…"

Luppi shook his head and then looked at Rangiku.

"So, Rangiku-chan, how about you, me, and Luppi-chan get together at my hotel later for some late-night fun. Really break loose, eh?" he said slyly. As Rangiku was more than a little bit drunk, she nodded dumbly and agreed to that.

"GREAT!!" Gin said enthusiastically, kissing Rangiku on the lips as well.

"Luppi, kiss Rangiku-chan, now. It's customary to seal the deal, as they say."

"Ah, of course, Gin-_kun_…" he said, standing up straight and kissing Rangiku on the lips as Gin had. Rangiku grinned and giggled and walked away.

"See, now? It isn't so bad if you get a threesome out of it, right?"

And so, the rest of the evening went on without any significant problems and that night, more than one of the party members was off having fun, especially Ichigo and Rukia.

The End


End file.
